#momoftheyear

Ok, here's a new blog post for all of my loyal followers. Dedicated to all three of you. You know who you are.

So, a few weeks back I had a deeply moving and spiritual blog post to write about. Then I forgot to write it and it was all gone. So that ship has sailed. Sorry you missed it. This blog post is waaaayyyyy different than that.

Today was one of "those days" again. I've had an ongoing headache for a week and that makes me Grumpy Mommy. Big time. On top of that the akps decided to forego naptime. In lieu of rest, they decided to aggravate each other and the little akp tore apart her room. Again. I begged and beat pleaded with them to clean up because we had a busy evening to get going. After picking up just the "trip-able" clutter, I put them in the bath. I armed them with tear-free soap and washcloths and said "Go for it!" We were late for dance class and I had a meeting after dance at the church. We had to leave in 15 minutes. I laid out all the tights, leotards and tutus and started making a picnic dinner. Here is where it all went wrong.
My oldest AKP has been having tummy troubles and the allergist has recommended a trial period diet of no milk, wheat or chicken. I want to die. It's challenging. I proceeded to pack a dinner-on-the-go of gluten free deli ham, fresh fruit, organic gummies.. you know, the usual. I went to pour some almond milk and thought "Hey, I'm going to be a great Mom and add some milk-free chocolate syrup as a special treat!" Yay me, right?! I opened the new bottle, tore off the little foil cap thingy and proceeded to "shake well" as it instructed me to do. Then it hit the fan. Literally. The top popped off and chocolate syrup spewed all over the cabinets, floors, ceiling, counter tops, etc etc. All of my spirituality left my body and my stresses from the day blurted themselves from my mouth in an epically loud "$HIT!!!!!!!"
(Now, I'll give those of you a minute who just got a nose bleed to get down off your high horse. If none of my previous posts have made it clear to you, here it is: Amy K is not perfect. Now, take a breather, call a counselor. Do what you have to do. Get over it.)
As soon as I said it, I realized my volume filter was obviously not on and .0034 seconds after the curse word slipped out, I hear from the bathroom my child say, "Uh oh, Mom just said $hit." It was at that point they knew it got real. I don't condone cursing in front of children, but they definitely straightened up. For 20 minutes. Then it was back to catty bickering as usual. Life with girls, am I right?
The moral of the story? Well, there isn't one. It was cathartic to write about my horrible afternoon and in a weird way helped me get my joy back. The devil has been coming up with crazy ways to steal my joy and its up to me to get it back. Well, would ya look at that. I did have something spiritual to say.